Incandescant With Rage – Or Just No Sense Of Humour

I have just read something on FaceBook that has made me really angry.  And it compels me to rant a bit, on here.

I asked the person that posted it to tell me where he got it from.  He said it was in an email and could give me no further information.

AnonymousHere is the whole thing:

When girls don’t put out!!
This was written by a guy…it’s pretty damn smart.

Girls — Please have a sense of humour!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, ‘I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.’

I said, ‘WHAT??!! What was that?!’

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…

‘You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.’

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, ‘Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?’

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, ‘Lets get a pair for each outfit.’

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, ‘That’s fine, honey.’ She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, ‘I think this is all
dear, let’s go to the cashier.’

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, ‘No honey, I don’t feel like it.’

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, ‘WHAT?’

I then said, ‘Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.’

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, ‘Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?’

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either….but at least that bitch knows I’m smarter than her.

Why has this made me so angry?  Do you really need to ask?

Angry Woman

This takes sexism up a notch.  It stereotypes both women and men.

As a woman – no, as a person, I have to say I do not like to cuddle.  I could blame it on my MS and say I do not like to cuddle because I get so very hot and sweaty and my muscles are not under my control, so I tend to twitch and kick but, to be honest, I have never liked to cuddle.

I am not good with physical contact, unless it is leading to sex.  I like sex.  I particularly like coitus – I like fucking.  I’d take fucking over oral sex, for example, every time.  My body and brain can’t seem to understand why I am being caressed, if it does not lead to sex.  Stop pawing at me, unless you’re going to come up with the goods.  Or unless, as the anonymous author of the above “article” says, you’re going to put out.

There are, however, people on this planet that do want to cuddle.  That do want to snuggle up with someone, just to be close.  They’d be more than happy to fall asleep and wake up again, limbs entwined with someone else.  For these people, there is no overwhelming need to have sex any time they brush skin with their partner.

Here’s the thing – some of these people are men.

As for, in the article, the man’s “revenge”… guess what?  I am female, yet I do not like shopping.

Woman ShoppingI have no overwhelming need (in fact, I have no need at all) to wander around town, look at, try on and purchase clothes and shoes.  I buy clothes when the need arises.  The need very seldom arises.  I bought a dress, this month, because I have to go somewhere for Christmas dinner and I have a wedding to attend, next year.  I am planning on wearing the dress on both occasions.

I detest the whole process of shopping and clothes shopping is the type of shopping I loathe the most.  I want to do all my shopping on-line.  If I cannot do that, I want to walk into a shop, pick up the item I need, pay for it and leave.  I do not see this as a leisure pursuit.

Likewise, I see no need to have more than one handbag, as I only ever use one if I am not in my jeans and am wearing something that does not have pockets.  I certainly see no need to pay more than £10 for a bit of small luggage.

Shoes – I wear the same pair of sandals, day in, day out.  I have a pair of CAT boots that I put on if I’m going to be outside in the snow or mud.  They’re the boots I used to wear when I was on my motorcycle.  Of course, I own other footwear – I have things to wear on my feet if I’m in a dress and I own a pair or New Rocks that are so heavy I find it hard to walk in them, these days, and my daughter gets more use out of them than I do, but I have no overwhelming need to own many different pairs of shoes.

The person I know (knew, actually: sadly no longer with us) that owns the most pairs of footwear, you know the sort… buys the shoes, keeps them all pristine, probably still in their boxes… is male.

Shoes

I wear the same jewellery all the time.  I do not change it.  Occasionally, I will buy something new to put through my nipple, but that will be cheap or it will not get bought.  I wear very nice jewellery that my husband has bought for me.  Once, in my life, I asked him to buy me some earrings.  I did not use sex as a bargaining tool for this.  I do not use sex as a bargaining tool for anything.  Ever.

On the other hand (shopping wise, not sex wise) my husband likes to shop.  He likes to look in every shop, wandering around, looking at every item, and then going back into each shop, sometimes a couple of times, until he eventually goes back to the first shop he went into to make a purchase.  If he’s buying clothes, he has to try things on.  Something I avoid at all costs.

Generally speaking, if he needs to go shopping, I drive him where he wants to go, then I go to the pub and wait for him to be done.

Again, I could blame this on my illness, saying that I can’t walk around that easily and certainly can’t be stood up for that long, but, truth be told, I just hate that experience.  Faffing and um-ing and ah-ing and stopping for an overpriced coffee and back to the faffing.  Sheer hell.

But you know what – he loves it.  And he’s a man.

He’d probably like to come home exhausted from a shopping trip and have a snuggle.

A man shopping.  He's not my husband, though.

You see, we’re all different.  I am female.  This does not automatically mean I like shopping and cuddling that does not lead to sex.  My husband, obviously, is male.  He would dearly love to snuggle with no motive other than to be close to someone.  Possibly after a day out, shopping.

Now, this post on FaceBook starts with the words “Girls — Please have a sense of humour!”.  I guess this means that I do not have a sense of humour.  Mind you, I am not a “girl”.  As this whole post is about some dick-wad not getting laid, I would like to think he actually meant to say “women”, as opposed to “girls”, but that’s a whole different kettle of misogyny, isn’t it.

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