Making The Change

This year, my life has changed. Or, I suppose I should say, I have changed my life.

For starters, back in May, I found myself unable to look at the reflection of my naked body. Not through any lack of reflective apparatus, or loss of vision or owt, just I had managed to eat so much as to make myself seriously overweight and visibly abhorrent to me.

I am 5’2″ tall. I weighed 11st 4.5lbs (158.5 lbs). My BMI was at 29.2. That’s not good. To be honest, it wasn’t just the mirror I couldn’t look at. I wasn’t too keen on looking down at my body and you just can’t help that, sometimes, can you?

I also was fully aware that I was just not moving enough. I sit at my computer, on my Bambach saddle seat and don’t have to move at all. Look, here’s a video I did, to show someone just how cosy I have things, as my daily set-up.

There’s my computer and my coffee machine, all within arms reach, then I can swivel round to the cooker and the sink… boom. It’s all there. I just have to move if I want to get to the fridge. And, even if I got up off my wheelie seat, the fridge is less than ten steps away.

So, what to do about this? Diet and exercise, obvs. *sigh*

I have done Weight Watchers a few times over the last decade. It works for me, in that I do lose weight, when I do it. I have always done Weight Watchers Online, though. I never wanted to go to a Fat Fighters meeting. Screw that.

Then again, I supposed to myself, it also doesn’t work for me because I have had to do it several times. My weight yo-yos and my Weight Watchers graph looks like a mountain range or a saw blade, stretched over time. Of course, the downs take longer than the ups. It seems to take a month to lose a couple if pounds but I can put so much more weight on in a fraction of that time.

I should try something else. (I did do The Atkins Diet, a couple of years ago. I missed my carbs and I felt like I smelled of meat. That was after one week). So… what to try?

I noticed quite a few of my on-line friends used Slimming World. I looked into it, as best you can without joining up, and bit the bullet and phoned the local representative.

My main worry was having to go to the meetings. I vocalised my worries about Fat Fighters. She assured me that it was not like Fat Fighters at all. But then, she would, wouldn’t she?

Aah, just do it, I thought. But then, I didn’t go. I spoke to a friend, at the pub, about this. To my surprise, she said that she wouldn’t mind going along as she was also unhappy with her weight. And an agreement was made and we duly took ourselves to the Glastonbury social club that hosts the Slimming World group.

You get an introductory instructional talk and get weighed. No one bar you and the person weighing you gets to know your weight. The following hour or so is the meeting, or Group as they call it. The Leader will talk through everyone’s gains (boo) or losses (yay). Then there is discussion about what you did that could have caused that change. There’s much moral support and things like stickers and certificates for reaching certain milestones, like every half stone (7lbs) lost or when you have lost 10% of your starting weight.

I sniggered at the thought of these childish “awards”. Like that would be of any interest to me. *tsk* As if.

Anyhoo, my friend and I decided we’d sign up and we came away with a folder with some books inside. And we went back. We weighed and left, the following week. We decided the Fat Fighters group meeting was not for us. But we’ve both stuck to the (very easy) plan and we’re both losing weight.  I have managed to recruit another friend too. I got a free week, for that. Excellent.

What is the diet? Well, it’s not far off how I was cooking before. The main difference being to just cut out the fats. I used so much olive oil that I am no longer using. You use a light oil spray instead. You can have as much pasta or potatoes or lean meat as you like. You restrict the amount of cheese and milk you use, if you want to drop the lbs. I mean, I know this makes sense, right? It’s pretty straightforward.

And you know what, when I’d lost my first 7lbs, after 5 weeks, I WANTED MY DAMN STICKER!!!

My Fat Fighters Stickers, so far.

And now, 18 weeks down the line I’m a couple of pounds off of getting my third one of those. I am ever so proud of myself and my body, at the moment. It’s a good feeling. (I am, at last weigh-in, 9st 13lbs or 139lbs)

Then there’s my activity levels. Or more, my lack of activity. I tried doing a daily walk, with my walking frame, sound the village. Not as easy as it sounds, when you live in farming country. The village does not have much in the way of pavements and the roads are littered with leaves, straw, hay, animal shit… usual country stuff. Not very disabled friendly. Especially if you have walking issues on clean, dry, even surfaces.

I’ll join a gym. There’s a thing your GP can do called something like a Prescription for Exercise or similar. It get’s you a 25% discount off your local council gym. You get an interview with someone at the gym and they develop an exercise plan with you, that suits your needs and takes any illness or disability into account.

You have to sign in and out to prove to the Government body responsible for the scheme that you have used their 25% of the membership as they’d prefer (I have no idea why you have to log in and out, but it’s a separate book, just for GP referral cases, like me).

But it is a full membership and I could, if I wanted, use the pool, or join the Zumba class, or the yoga, or whatever else they have on.

So, I have been going and doing the programme that the woman and I planned.   I have been very good and I go at least every other day.

A Gym.

I do get very exhausted, though.  Fatigued, I suppose, because it’s not just being out of puff from exercising, I have to sleep.  Recharge.  Kind of like when you have eaten your Christmas dinner and have a carb overload and need to take time out for your body to deal with it.

It’s so bad that I cannot make it to choir practise, if I go to the gym on the same day as choir (Thursdays).

Oh, yeah, I have joined the church choir!  Suddenly, half the village that were only aware of me for one thing (OK, maybe a pair of things) now know of my existence as a whole, fully functioning human, not just that woman that gets her tits out.

I was asked (and accepted the offer) to help out at our village show.  I had been trying to get into helping out on that for the best part of the decade that we have lived here.  I always came up against brick walls, before though.   They’d say “Oh, yes, that’d be nice” but then I’d hear no more.

I took a session on the cakes and teas stall in the village hall, during this year’s show.  I loved it!

All those people that had been so sniffy with me before, that had refused to even make eye contact with me were suddenly aware of me as someone that could join and give back to the village I love and think of as my home.

It’s all so nice.  So different.  And I am looking good.  Even if I don’t often feel good.

Me, singing at church choir.

I wrote something on FaceBook, today.  As soon as I had posted it, I thought that maybe it should have gone on here, instead, as it might be a bit random for FaceBook.

Today I feel extra weird. Kinda like I am “off phase”. Hmm. Sort of drunk, vertigo-y feeling. Electrical. Buzzy, but not in a good way.

I know it’s just MS bull$hit, but I never know what to blame this feeling on.

Everything happens a tiny fraction of a second before (or is it after?) it actually happens.

See? Off phase. Like my own dimension is breaking through, but I’m not quite in it.

OK, y’all have glazed over already, haven’t you? But some of you surely will know what I mean?

Won’t you? Don’t you?

I’d hit up the Tramadol (or something) but I have driving to do tonight.

Perhaps I should go have a nap.

I’ve had a couple of comments, a couple of people saying that it sounds like how they feel before a seizure.  Yeah, I understand that.  It’s all neurological mis-wiring and mis-firing, isn’t it.

I suppose I should go and have that lie down.  I’ll take this machine and add the video I spoke of and some other pictures, whilst I am there.  I may fall asleep while I am doing it, though.

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