Inspired By A WAG.

I was in the salon, t’other day, and was handed some magazines which I put down, as celebrity gossip is so not my thing, when my eye was caught by a rather stunning photograph, of a rather stunning woman, on the cover of Hello! magazine.

Now, I deduce from the name (and my guess was confirmed as correct by my hairdresser) that Coleen Rooney is the wife of  superb (Man Utd & England) striker Wayne Rooney.

Wayne RooneyShrek

Now, Wayne may be all that on the pitch, but he is possibly one of the most hideous young men I have ever laid eyes on.  They call him Shrek.  That’s a little unfair.

Possibly on Shrek.

Anyhoo, after the rather predictable conversation that ensued (“What is she doing with him?!?” etc) was done, I set to telling my stylist why I liked the photo of Coleen.

Coleen is, obviously, a beautiful woman.  To be honest, I know nothing about her.  Nothing at all.  I have not even read the website that I just linked to, up there ^.

She is sexy.  She is married to one of the best football players that we have, in England at the moment.  She did an interview with Hello! magazine and appears to have done that in Paris.  That is all I think I will ever need to know about her.

In this particular photograph, we can see the Eiffel Tower. Hello! Magazine Cover We can see the pretty woman, gently reclining, in what appears to be a dishevelled wolf-pelt.  I am sure it is actually a haute couture garment.  But, you know, my eyes are not all that good, these days.

We can see her face, her décolletage and one of her legs.  It’s just a sexy photograph.  I can’t pin it down.

So, how “Inspired by a WAG”?*

Well, I have recently done a redesign of the VixPix site (did it myself in the end) and was at the salon trying to brighten up my own look a little, so as I could maybe feel good enough to perhaps do some more photographs for the thing.  Maybe.

If you have ever seen any of my pix, you’ll maybe have noticed that I am not standing up in that many of them.  Standing up is one of those things I am not all that good at.  Well, not for any amount of time any way.  “Any amount of time” is about five minutes, I guess.

When you’re doing a photoshoot, there is a lot of hanging about.  Staying still, holding a pose, etc.  This is why, in the majority of my pics, I am reclining to some lesser or greater extent.  This is also difficult.  The arm that I am supporting myself with will start to shake in no time at all and it can all go a bit wobbly.  Not the best state to be in, when you’re being photographed.

But, if it’s OK for Coleen to do a reclining photoshoot, it’s OK for me!

It’s not in front of the Eiffel Tower, Paris, France.  It’s my sofa, in my living room, in my house near Glastonbury, Somerset, UK.  (Hence the background pic on this blog, btw).

It’s not a wolf pelt like haute couture garment, either, it’s a big woolly cardigan.  I like a big woolly.   Woolly.  I said woolly.   :lol:

So, I have put them up on The Photos Page, on VixPix.  Here’s one, from the shoot, where I’m quite covered up, should you not want to be seen looking at an old, fat, disabled bird, with her tits out, right now.   (But if you want to later, here’s the full set).

Photo of Vix in a Big Woolly on VixPix.orgIf you’re areal masochist, you could do worse than taking a look at The Photos Page, on VixPix and maybe even make a donation to MSRC, if you do?

*WAG = Wives And Girlfriends (of the players).  Surely you can’t, as one woman, be a wife and girlfriend.  They should be called Wives Or…  oh.  Never mind.  :oops:

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Because I’m Worth It. (Not)

I recently wrote, on VixPix, that I should tell you about my refusal of Sativex. Sativex is a medication made by GW Pharmaceuticals.

In 2002, I got on the clinical trial for Sativex. After a few days, it was evident that I was actually on the drug and not the placebo (as this was a double blind trial). Evident, to me, because Sativex is the cannabis based medicine and I was suddenly finding that time was shifting very slowly, for me and I remember one day finding myself eating five or six packets of crisps in one go. I was thinking “Why am I so hungry?!” as I reached for another packet… then it dawned on me… I had the munchies!

Now, unbelievable as you may find it, I had not been a weed user before my use of Sativex. When I got my diagnosis, everyone, and I mean everyone (including my grandfather), told me to use cannabis. I had, obviously, tried it before… smoking what was being passed around, but I had not taken up the drug myself. The only effect this previous use had had on me was to send me soundly to sleep and I did not see the need, when I was healthy, to do it again.

Seriously… I wasn’t a toker.

I found, once I got the dosage correct, that using Sativex not only helped me sleep – a real plus point when you are in a lot of pain – but either eased my pain, or made it so as I just didn’t care about my pain any longer. That sounds odd. It’s a difficult thing to describe. My head gets busy with other things… no that’s wrong, too. I get a comfortable emptiness. I’m not just focussed on what hurts. In fact, I’m not focussed on anything.

I also noticed an ease in my stiffness and twitching. I especially noticed this in the evenings, when I was sitting watching TV and at night, in bed. To be honest, it was truly blissful. I could relax and switch off.

However, there are obviously other side effects. I would not use Sativex until I knew I was done driving for the day. There was intoxication. No-one told me (bizarrely) not to drive or operate machinery, like you usually get told with so much as cough medicine. Thankfully, I am not so stupid as to take that as permission to do so. :lol:

The munchies are a side effect, for me, of using cannabis. I had to make sure I was aware of that “hunger” not being real and try to ignore it. I fail at that. This is one of the reasons I am as heavy as I am, at the moment.

Another side effect seems to be de-hydration. I can drink water to quench my thirst and wet my mouth, but that’s not the only lack of moisture that occurs. In these circumstances, I opted to use a sexual lubrication product. (I have to talk to you about that, at some point, too).

But, these things are worth suffering, when you get the benefits that I got from using this medicine.

When the clinical trial ended, I was informed that I was, indeed, on the actual drug and not the placebo. Well… durr!

I was also allowed to continue using the drug, indefinitely, and was issued with a card to inform the authorities, should the need arise, that I was a Home Office registered medical cannabis user. I called it my “Get Out Of Jail Free” card.

The only difference now, was that GW Pharm. would no longer send a car for me, to go to Oxford to get my meds. I would have to get there myself. Not a problem, I lived in Swindon, at the time, and it was not too far a trip. On my bike, it took no time at all.

When I moved further away, though, to where I am now, the journey time more than doubled and I was suffering more with my health and finding riding my bike more and more difficult. (I have since had to give up motorcycling, and have finally given in and got a car).

As a result, I stopped going to GW and was discharged from the “trial”. Not a problem, I thought, Sativex looked like it was going to be licensed for use in the UK pretty soon. I could use street drugs, ’till then.

And I have been doing so, ever since.

Street drugs, despite what you might hear from certain media sources, are not that easy to come by.

If you find someone that will sell some to you, you are lucky. You don’t necessarily know where they have come from and it can all be a bit seedy. And of course, illegal.

The best thing that you can do is to find someone that grows their own. Again, this is obviously illegal and, as such, your supply is irregular, to say the least.

I have friends that grow, but it’s hard to buy the drugs off them. I think some people may think I am after a freebie (which is great, of course) but I am willing to pay for my medication. It’s something I need and something they have and I will willingly pay. I have attempted to grow my own, but I am not a gardener and I can kill houseplants with a look, it sometimes seems.

If any of my friends read this, when I say to you “Can I buy some green?” I do mean just that. I am after doing a transaction. You do something I cannot do, and, as with if I need a plumber, or an electrician, or a gardener, I will pay for the goods and/or services. And I will be very grateful.

I digress. Usually, I buy off people that also smoke cannabis. The trouble with stoners is they are, generally, unreliable. If you don’t catch them at the right time, they will have smoked everything they had and will grin at you and say “sorry”.

If I do manage to buy some drugs, I have then to ascertain what it is I have bought. A lot of what is around at the moment is “skunk“. This is not what I want, it speeds my heart rate and gives me a buzz. I am not after that, I want the opposite. I want something to calm my spasticity, ease my pain and aide me to sleep.

So, I buy what I can and then have to start smoking just a tiny bit in a spliff and increase the dose once I know it’s strength. If I get this wrong and put in too much, I am quite likely to puke as my body says “Get this shit out of me!” which I don’t really understand, as I have not put anything in my stomach.

As the supply of cannabis so so unreliable, I have to eke out what I have. I smoke one joint a day. Usually around ten o’clock at night. Occasionally, I will have another, later on. If I am finding my pain (now in my hands, arms and feet, as well as my legs) unbearable. But it is always a hard decision to make. Do I use up my valuable resource like this, or do I continue to be frugal, so as I do not run out?

Anyhoo… earlier this year I heard the magic story, on the news, that Sativex had got it’s licence.

I immediately booked in to see my GP to discuss this. I was told that I would have to see my Consultant Neurologist with regard to this. Thankfully, they referred me and I got an appointment, quite quickly.

I went to see the Neurologist. He was new, to me, and did not know me or my “case” at all. He was dismissive and told me that he did not have any patients on Sativex, and knew little about it. I told him that I had used it before and it really worked for me, and I did know about it.

He told me I should increase the dosage of one of my other drugs and see if that didn’t help and he’d see me in six months time, goodbye.

I was very nearly in tears, and I said again that I knew this medication worked for me and I was using street drugs in it’s absence and I was breaking the law and he was basically telling me to continue doing just that. (Other doctors have actually said “Have you tried street drugs?” which is where I got the term from).

The Neurologist said that, of course, he was not suggesting that. I said I thought that that was exactly what he was saying but I would do as he suggested, with my other meds.

The change in dosage of my other meds has decreased my twitching limbs, but not touched the pain. It has also made me swell up like a balloon. The skin on my hands and feet feels tight and stretched. In fact, the skin on my heels keeps splitting open. Also, I keep getting swollen, reddened ankles.

I went to the GP about this (I saw someone that is not my doctor) and was told I had a fever, to take paracetamol and drink plenty of water.

Then, out of the blue I got this letter.

So there we have it. I’m not worth the money.

Thanks NHS.

My next Neurologist appointment is at the start of January. It is with the same guy as I saw last time. I will be curious to hear what the “scope to optimise other treatments” is.

I will keep you informed.

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Ta Daaa!

Right then. Here it is, the personal blog I’ve been mithering over for the last few days.

It will be strange to blog without selling something, so bear with me if I lapse into flogging pornography. :lol: It’s what I do and it is, quite literally, a dirty job, but someone’s blah blah blah.

There are no promises as to how frequently I’m gonna update. It may be that I’ll find myself ranting a couple of times in one day, it may be that I’ll say nothing for months. Let’s just suck it and see, eh?

It’s Saturday morning and I am in my bed, naked. Across the other side of the country, a friend is re-designing the VixPix site. Something that is long overdue, I’m sure you’ll agree.

It was set up with no design know-how (quite obviously) by my husband, who’s main concerns, at the time, were indexing and SEO. What he did worked for what we needed (as we made thousands of pounds, for the MSRC, in weeks).

But, I got an offer to pretty the site up, for nowt, from a friend – thank you – and I couldn’t say “no”. The time has come. We’ll do a re-launch. We could maybe do some promotion again… get the charity some more money.

Damn it, I may even get some new photos on there!

We’ll see.

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Whinging from Vix